Return Ibrahim Griggs

As a Black man in New Jersey, what must I accomplish to no longer be a NIGGER? I am the CEO of a multi-million-dollar company in New York City (https://photos.app.goo.gl/6yDNJs5HUhTY3WtZA).  I'm on the board of two hospitals. I am on the community board for two banks. I am the president of the Township of Neptune Housing Authority. I was honored by NJ State Senator Vin Gopal (https://photos.app.goo.gl/H1PV8oGV6kmZbxvg7) for being a Black leader in the community. I was appointed to NJ COVID Restart & Recovery Council by Governor Murphy (https://photos.app.goo.gl/KaJy4GeRH2E5JMsHA) I was appointed to NJ 11th Legislative District COVID Restart & Recovery Council by Senator Gopal. I am in Asbury Park High School’s Hall of Fame (https://photos.app.goo.gl/wi36GdYYZ7RtSTek7) or as we refer to it, the Hall of Distinguished Alumni. Yet, when I step in Monmouth County Court for a divorce, my name might as well be NIGGER Griggs, as opposed to Derrick Griggs.

My estranged wife, Dr. Abeer Griggs, was born in NY to Egypt immigrants. Based on her appearance, America considers her White. That is a major problem for this Black man while going through a divorce in Monmouth County NJ. While no one likes to publicly give details of a messy divorce, I must detail how men, more specifically Black men, will never be given an opportunity to raise their children.

By the time you read this, Dr. Griggs may have left us as she is in the hospital with stage 4 cancer. I’m sure you’re thinking, “What a piece of shit! How can you be so cruel?”. My simple response, I have always, and I will always continue to put my children first. As harsh as it may be for you to read these words, at 10 (Ibrahim - Mim) and 11 (Derrick Jr - LG), they are, and SHOULD be, my only concern. At a time when all my energy an effort should be spent helping LG and Mim through this difficult time, Dr. Griggs’ mother, Mervat Elessawi, and sisters, Rania & Taisier Elessawi, are keeping my son, Mim, away from me with the help of Monmouth County courts and GAL, Steve Enis. I have not seen or heard from Mim for three months. Now Steven Enis won’t allow me access to Mim because he says Mim is scared of me. Here are videos and photos. Does Mim look scared to you?

Dr. Griggs has been in the hospital for a week, but they are preventing me from getting or even talking to Mim. That is why, after staying silent for 32 months, enduring countless lies, being invoiced approaching $200K in legal and “expert” fees, and having a restraining order placed on me, I am going public. This is one of two things 1) The people are manipulating the process to prolong the gravy train or 2) A Black man can’t get a fair trial in Monmouth County. You can decide which, but either way, give me my son back!!!

Part 1 – The Reason

Dr. Griggs lives in the house with her mother Mervat. Dr. Griggs has two sisters, Rania and Taisier, and no brothers. Rania is 47, divorced with no children. Taisier is 43, never married, and has no children either. Without custody of LG and Mim, Dr. Griggs immediate family will no longer have a male descendant. Of course, LG and Mim are half Egyptian, but that is not enough for the 3 Witches of Egypt. Anyone with a limited knowledge of Egyptian culture understands how important it is to have a male heir. Since I communicated with Dr. Griggs that I wanted out of the relationship in August 2021, she and her family have made my and the children’s life a living hell, leading to LG and Mim being separated. All an orchestrated plot to vilify and paint me as an abusive husband and father, with the goal of taking LG and Mim away from me.

With her cancer diagnosis, Dr. Griggs had a fleeting time left. With Dr. Griggs’ leadership and blessings, the 3 Witches of Egypt went to work. I discussed this very situation with the Custody Evaluator, Dr. Abrams, during multiple sessions. Dr. Abrams told me that was not possible. I am the father of LG and Mim and when/if something happens to Dr. Griggs, they will be with me. Well Dr. Abrams…I’m sure I don’t have to say it. We could have avoided a lot of this if you said yes even once when I wrote multiple emails begging you to interview the children. My attorney and I sent emails expressing how uncomfortable LG was being made the feel in his mother’s house. As far back as May 2023, LG begged to come stay with me. I told him that I would do all that I could to make it happen, but he would have to tell his mother that is what he wanted. LG was so scared and said that his mother may kick him out of the house. Think I am lying, watch the later videos. He stood tall and told his mother. She took him to her office, made him call my cell phone and told me that, no, he would not be staying with me. He did what I asked, and I let him down. I could not even get you, or DCPP, to talk to him or take me seriously.

Dr Abrams, of all the people in this process, I am most disappointed in you. Everyone says it is about children, but I believed it with you. You spent more time with us than anyone other than the attorneys. What is more, you’re a therapist. You knew she lied about the abuse, and you detailed it in your report. You know she disparages me to the children. You and the Co-parenting coordinator, Dr Forshee, both said the parent of primary resident would be with whomever was more willing to work with the other parent. Yet you still gave her more parenting time. I really expected more of you. 

Part 2 – The Trial

My children are my concern, so this will not be a hit piece on their mother. The internet lives forever and no matter what has transpired, I would like them to have a good image of Dr. Griggs. In that light, I will provide limited information while providing context. In August 2021, when I informed Dr. Griggs that I wanted to exit the relationship we had been married 9 years and 11 months. Within one month (September 2021) Dr. Griggs called the police to our home with allegations that I threatened her, and she feared me. Because there was never any abuse, this was the first time she called the police in our nearly 10-year marriage. When the police came to our home, they saw no abuse had occurred. Now that Dr. Griggs had a police report, she filed for divorce in October 2021. A month later, November 2021, she called the police to the home for the second time. Again, Neptune police saw nothing had occurred and I wasn’t even asked to leave the house. Several hours later, the police showed up with a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). Dr. Griggs called the court and concocted a story and received a TRO. I was forced to pack a bag and leave home. I lied to my children and told them that I had to leave for a business trip. They may not admit it now, but the police apologized to me for being forced to take this action. Because this was during the COVID pandemic, instead of a trial within two weeks, I went a month and a half with ZERO contact with LG & Mim. The only way I saw them was on the ring doorbell camera. When Dr. Griggs learned of that, she changed the doorbell camera account so I would no longer be able to see them walk in the house. After presiding over the trial, Judge Dalton dismissed the TRO, and said people often use allegations of abuse to get leverage during a divorce. Dr Griggs’ attorney at the time, Ms. Jeanette Russell, who’s a friend to Dr. Griggs, stopped being her attorney after the trial. Clearly, Ms. Russell knew Dr. Griggs had lied and perjured herself on the stand. Dr. Griggs, would contact Neptune Police Department at least a dozen more times and the Division of Children Protection & Permanency (DCPP) at least 6 times since September 2021.    

Again, in attempts to protect the children, I will not discuss each incident, but I will detail the most egregious. Let's start with the TRO that was converted into a Final Restraining Order (FRO) in March 2023 by Monmouth County Judge Coyle. For you non-attorneys out there like myself, a TRO requires a “precipitating event”. For this second TRO, the precipitating event was my changing the house thermostat to a smart thermostat because Dr. Griggs refused to pay any bills. The gas bill alone was over $1400 when it averages less than $200/month.  My attorney at Lomurro Law said the issuance of the TRO was unjustified. Maybe that is why they put little to no effort in my defense, while charging me top dollar, but that is a story for another day. Below are the claims made by Dr. Griggs in the TRO.

1.       Removing the thermostat is the precipitating event

2.       Body checked her on the stairwell

3.       Slammed her hand in bedroom door

4.       Slammed her foot in the car door

5.       Throughout the marriage, I would shove her numerous times and I would punch her closed fist while she slept. 

2) I’ve already discussed the reason for changing the thermostat, so let’s review the other claims. Dr. Griggs claimed that I body checked her on the stairwell in our home. She went to the Police Department and there's a video of her demonstrating what I did. Any person with an average IQ will determine that claim to be false. I am 6’2” and Dr Griggs is 5’5”. On the video you will see her doing an upward motion demonstrating how I supposedly body checked her in her ribs. On the stand, she testified that we were standing on the same step. She also testified that she had her bookbag over her shoulder…the same side of her body in which I was allegedly standing. Lastly, the width of the standard stairwell is 32” in older homes. With the handrail it’s approximately 29”. How do I know, because 1) I measured it 2) I work in affordable housing development. I’m 6’2”, weigh 225lbs, and I wear a size 46 suit. It is physically impossible for me and her to stand on the same step. Not to mention I am 8” taller than Dr. Griggs. She showed an upward swing for me to hit her in the ribs. If I were to swing my arms from the shoulder as she demonstrated, the lowest height comparative to her body would be the top of her head, not her ribs. 

Let’s discuss what really happened. I am standing at the top of the stairs, and Dr. Griggs is at the bottom. I begin to run down the stairs as I always do. She looks me directly in the eye and starts to walk up the stairs. I understand that she is trying to have me push her down the stairs. I turn to the side, pressing my back against the wall. We barely touch as I complete the last few steps. I don’t have to ask which version is more realistic, but Dr Griggs’ version is literally impossible. But Judge Coyle said that even though there is no evidence, all she needed was to believe Dr. Griggs 51% or just look at me? Even though Dr. Griggs claims are literally, physically impossible to occur, it was easier for Judge Coyle to believe her version of events. I’ll give you one guess why.

3) Dr Griggs claimed I slammed her hand in the bedroom door. Yes, her hand was caught in the door. BUT that was because she was attacking me! I was behind the door, trying to keep it shut, to avoid a confrontation. We dispute the events leading up to this event, but Dr Griggs admitted (on the stand) that she followed me into the hallway and tried to get in the bedroom. Now this is the same person who said she fears me. Yet, she pursued me into the hallway, stuck a pin into a keyhole to break into my bedroom, only to continue to harass me. When I jumped to close the door, she put her hand in the door. All this while our son, Mim, is in the hallway helping her push the door open. As her hand gets caught in the door, Mim yells at me, balls his fist and gives me…my very own…death stare (Ironically, my death stare is why Mim has said he is scared of me. Not because I abuse him). As she tended her hand, I had to tend to Mim. I have always told LG that his job was to protect his mother and his brother. I told Mim that his job was to protect his mother. Mim did exactly as I had taught him to do. I was hurt that he took her side, but I was (and still am) proud of my Mim.

Well, that is how her hand got caught in the door. Get the court transcripts. Even through the lies, you will concur that her story isn’t different than what I’ve written. Yet, Judge Coyle would say that she believes that I had enough time to let her remove her hand before I fought to keep her out of the room. Saying nothing to the fact that Dr. Griggs said she fears me, but she was the aggressor and instigator of this event. That means my standard to avoid a restraining order is to ensure Dr. Griggs does not hurt herself while she is attacking me.

4) I slammed her foot in the car door was another lie. She got caught lying on the stand, but good old Judge Coyle allowed her testimony to be written in pencil as opposed to pen. After stumbling over how I closed her foot in a car door, Judge Coyle allowed her to change it to a bedroom door. Dr. Griggs would go on to say that her foot was caught under the door. That couldn’t happen because the house had carpet. There was no space between the carpet and the bottom of the door. She was allowed to change the story again. The new story was that she put her foot between the door as she had done with her hand. Even with her changing stories on the stand, it’s hard to ignore the fact that Dr. Griggs was again outside the door trying to enter a room to harass me.

5) Throughout the marriage, I would shove her numerous times and I would punch her close fist while she slept. This is Dr. Griggs’ redo of a false claim she made during the first TRO that was dismissed. During the first TRO, she attested I would come home drunk, push, and punch her. Because the first TRO was thrown out, she could not make the same claim. She simply changed it to me hitting her with a closed fist while she slept. Just listen to how ridiculous that sounds. It was so stupid that when questioned why I would hit her, she said that I could have even been doing it in a drunken sleep. When asked approximately how many times it occurred, the response…at least 10. If you could listen to the transcript, you could tell that she was making it up as she went. But Judge Coyle didn’t need any evidence or even logic. Lomurro Law tried to get me to agree to civil restraints. They said Judge Coyle doesn’t follow the law; she can be a wild card. I would not agree with civil restraints because all of the allegations were false. My attorney kept pushing civil restraints, up to and including the morning of the trial. I refused and by the end of the trial day, let just say that I was required to get fingerprinted and Lomurro Law would no longer represent me…more to come on Lomurro Law, Bettina Munson, and Emeka Nkwuo

Part 3 – How Dare You Be So Bold

In the opening, I said that it is one of two things that determines this process:              

1.       The people are manipulating the process to prolong the gravy train

2.       A Black man can’t get a fair trial in Monmouth County

The truth is that it doesn’t matter if it is 1 or 2 or a combination of both. For me and my children to have to endure this for 32 months should enrage us all! I was arrested by Neptune police, and prosecuted by Monmouth County Prosecutor Santiago for taking Mim to his mother’s house instead of school because he was sick. This video was why I was arrested. (https://photos.app.goo.gl/pChXB42hiCaz8HDd7). Again, the police officer apologized to me. The substitute DCPP officer who visited me in my apartment when I was only a few weeks out from back surgery, apologized to me when he did the inspection. The male DCPP officer in Asbury Park who talked with me as we walked out because my case worker wasn’t present, apologized and said keep fighting for your kids. If everyone in the process understands that it is not just broken but prejudice against all men and specifically Black men, why would we allow that to continue? Have you seen the pictures and videos of LG, Mim, and I enjoying life? You can’t comprehend the amount of love I have for my boys…including my oldest JJ. Why would you think that I would allow that to continue?

The list of accomplishments that started the paper does not preclude me from committing the abuses Dr. Griggs alleges. That list of accomplishments also should not be needed for me, or anyone, to have the presumption of innocence in a criminal court (Monmouth County Prosecutor Santiago, more to come on your abuse of power) or the civil divorce court.

While everyone involved in this process may have visited the darkness with the current opioid crisis plaguing your youths, while you navigate the difficulties of your wide stairwells, I was born in Darkness as deep as Bane. I was born in Asbury Park in 1975 to a single mother and a slain father. I was raised by Beverly Griggs, educated by AP’s finest, and harden on Prospect Ave and Wall St. How dare you be so bold as to think I would sit quietly by as you attempt to take my children from me. I have already given you $200K, my good credit, and part of my back with this spine surgery.

WAIT, writing this paper made it so clear…this entire process is to return to being a NIGGER. As Jay Z would say, Nah Nigga. 

Videos

https://photos.app.goo.gl/5ELmTgiVUuVu2TNP6

https://photos.app.goo.gl/KMAaEpVor6Erggx56

https://photos.app.goo.gl/HCNbPEVzmeCTJsN17

https://photos.app.goo.gl/2NaY1dRMBWrck4Tb9

https://photos.app.goo.gl/jWGkwDdzQzTARHdi6

https://photos.app.goo.gl/QesXN2REAPeG94tNA

Photos

https://photos.app.goo.gl/MaWJKDbXJEf7WSsW9 - My boys, my nephew and his parents at the MET

https://photos.app.goo.gl/JavoXZtah9HdVF2m8 - Derrick Jr. friends, the neighbor’s children, and my nephews at Liberty Science Center for Derrick Jr. birthday.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/3ut3dSNieRfUhomX7 – Derrick Jr and Ibrahim join me at work

https://photos.app.goo.gl/SsZKHCt4m7jWjr9t7 – Griggs boys at Universal Studios for Mim’s birthday

https://photos.app.goo.gl/QWbrWtsdyH7hwYir6 – Griggs at the airport headed to Disney

https://photos.app.goo.gl/5qhu9yqfYk56J8Bt7 – Dad and Ibrahim at the end of the night

https://photos.app.goo.gl/6yDNJs5HUhTY3WtZA - Mim making opening remarks at NHSNYC Gala

https://photos.app.goo.gl/zRTmMCkWKMVHMRXu9 - Gala

https://photos.app.goo.gl/J2HRRNg7piWngsTt8 - Congressman Pallone

https://photos.app.goo.gl/ABuvEFNbymNoQT4i7 - Senator Booker

https://photos.app.goo.gl/KaJy4GeRH2E5JMsHA - Governor Murphy

https://photos.app.goo.gl/H1PV8oGV6kmZbxvg7 - NJ Senator Gopal

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